Real Food. Real Stories. Real Dad.
I am Steve. (Finally, people say that with a smile—thank you, Minecraft. I am now cool by association).
I am a Dad to two amazing boys. This means I am permanently exhausted. I’m a climbing frame. I’m a taxi service. I love cooking—it is my absolute happy place—but let’s be honest: I’m too tired for fancy.
I am looking for the path of least resistance. I want the Gold. This blog is my collection of cheats, fakeaways, and survival meals that get dinner on the table before the shouting starts.
I started writing this as free therapy (cheaper than a shrink) and so the boys can read these stories one day and realise why Dad was always asleep on the sofa. If you get a good meal out of it too? Then we are all winning.
Latest Posts
- Maximo the Mexican (& The Red Mustang Chilli)
I met up with my best mates at the weekend. It used to be a regular thing, but you know how it is. Everyone gets old. Life gets in the way. Suddenly it’s been six months, and we all just sat there comparing ailments and complaining about the price of cheese. But then, we remembered… Read more: Maximo the Mexican (& The Red Mustang Chilli) - Ultimate Jacket Potatoes (& the Blue Incident)
The Blue Incident I bought this jacket. It was a puffer. But not just a puffer, it was bright blue. When I put it on, I felt like a king. I felt like a very comfortable, very shiny king. It was like being hugged by a cloud that was trying to show off. The boy’s… Read more: Ultimate Jacket Potatoes (& the Blue Incident) - Chicken Tikka Masala (and the Takeaway Regret)
Right, I am definitely showing my age here, but when did a Chicken Tikka Masala become a luxury asset? When did ordering a takeaway require a credit check and a meeting with a loan officer? It used to be just me. Buying for one. Cheap. Dignified. Then it was two. Then, somehow, I was buying… Read more: Chicken Tikka Masala (and the Takeaway Regret) - Speedy Spanish Paella (and El Toro Loco)
At our old house, we had a trampoline in the garden. I say “trampoline.” It was essentially a bouncy death trap. It was the setting for a game that I am pretty sure would make a Health and Safety Inspector immediately resign and go live in a cave. We called it El Toro Loco. For… Read more: Speedy Spanish Paella (and El Toro Loco) - DIY Pizza (And The Delivery Disaster)
Right. So. The Delivery Disaster. We used to love a takeaway pizza. It was the ultimate Saturday night treat. But recently, I’ve noticed a problem. I have to re-mortgage the house just to get a Stuffed Crust. But we did it anyway. We ordered a feast. A Meat Feast. The sort of pizza that shortens… Read more: DIY Pizza (And The Delivery Disaster) - Chicken Katsu Curry (and the River Ninja)
The River Ninja. I have a serious question. Has my son been attending a secret dojo while I’m asleep? Is he living a double life? A few years ago, we were out for a “nice, calm family walk.” (Note: This is a lie we tell ourselves. There is no such thing. It’s just “crowd control… Read more: Chicken Katsu Curry (and the River Ninja) - The “Thaw Out” Lentil Soup (And The Bike Ride Disaster)
The “Quick” Bike Ride. I’ll picture the scene. It’s the middle of winter. We’ve been stuck inside for days staring at the walls. “Come on,” I say. “We need fresh air. We need nature.” Then I say the sentence that should be illegal: “Don’t worry, it will just be a quick bike ride.” We head… Read more: The “Thaw Out” Lentil Soup (And The Bike Ride Disaster) - Quick Sunday Waffles (I Could Waffle On About These…)
The Dad Joke Warning I’m going to start this post with a warning. I am a Dad. I am tired. And therefore, I am legally required to make this joke. “I could waffle on for ages about these things.” There. I said it. I’m not sorry. Waffles are one of those breakfasts that seem incredibly… Read more: Quick Sunday Waffles (I Could Waffle On About These…) - The Legend of Dad Strength (And the 10-Minute Recovery Pasta)
Mums and dads everywhere seem to develop a super-human physical strength. It’s not “gym strength.” I don’t look like The Rock. I look like a supply teacher who has been startled by a loud noise. But it is functional strength. It is survival strength. The Bike Ride Regret We love going for walks. The boys… Read more: The Legend of Dad Strength (And the 10-Minute Recovery Pasta) - Speedy Cottage Pie (& The Dad Spa)
The Dad Spa. In our house, Hide and Seek is more than just a game. It is a tactical survival strategy. It is the only time in my adult life where I am officially allowed to sit in a dark corner for five minutes in total, blissful silence. I don’t call it “playing with the… Read more: Speedy Cottage Pie (& The Dad Spa)