The “Quick” Bike Ride.

I’ll picture the scene. It’s the middle of winter. We’ve been stuck inside for days staring at the walls.

“Come on,” I say. “We need fresh air. We need nature.” Then I say the sentence that should be illegal: “Don’t worry, it will just be a quick bike ride.”

We head to the forest. It’s supposed to be scenic. It turns out, this was a terrible idea. A catastrophic idea.

Fast forward three hours.

I say three hours; it felt like a decade.

We are miles from home. The “snow” has melted on top of the previous rain. The trails aren’t trails anymore. They are rivers or lakes. I actually turned to the kids and said, “Don’t go chasing waterfalls.” They didn’t get the reference.

To turn back would take hours. So we press on. We are dragging bikes through mud. Through deep water. It was so deep that when I pedaled, my foot was underwater. I was essentially cycling in an aquarium.

My son tries to be brave. He cycles into a deep bit. He stops. He is completely stuck. He’s upright, but he is now a statue. He looks like a garden ornament in a pond.

I look at the water. I look at my trainers. I briefly considered leaving him there to be raised by ducks.

Then… a miracle.

Some strangers appeared. Competent people. People who own wellies that go up to their chins. They saw us—a family looking like frozen mud monsters—and they took pity. They waded in. They pushed us to the other side. I would have helped, but I was busy trying to keep the top of my socks dry and crying softly.

The Solution: Liquid Warmth

We got home. I didn’t want to cook. I wanted to hug the radiator and never let go. But we needed food.

So I made Weeknight Lentil Soup. It’s the culinary equivalent of a warm blanket. It is incredibly cheap—lentils cost about 4p a bag—which is good because I ruined my shoes. It’s packed with veg to make up for the trauma. And the texture? Smooth. Thick. Creamy. I didn’t have to chew. I didn’t have the energy to move my jaw. It was the best meal of my life.

💡 Tired Dad Tips

The “Ninja” Blitz: You can use a standard stick blender to blitz this in the pot, but if you want it extra smooth, I use our Ninja Smoothie Maker. I do it in batches. It turns the lentils into a silk-like texture that the kids prefer over “lumpy soup.”
The Lentil Hack: Dried red lentils are dirt cheap and only need to sit in boiling water/stock for about 15 minutes to soften. But if you are really in a rush? Just dump in a can of lentils (drained). It saves 10 minutes.
Veg Loading: I use carrots for sweetness, but this is the place to hide anything. Celery, old potatoes, that sad-looking leek… blitz it all into oblivion.