Right, I am definitely showing my age here, but when did a Chicken Tikka Masala become a luxury asset? When did ordering a takeaway require a credit check and a meeting with a loan officer?
It used to be just me. Buying for one. Cheap. Dignified. Then it was two. Then, somehow, I was buying for four people. Four human mouths. And just to be clear, that was my family. I haven’t just started frantically buying kormas for strangers.
I’m not walking down the street shouting, “Dave at Number 52 do you want a side of Sag Aloo?” He looks like he needs some carbohydrates!
The problem is the Friday Night Panic.
You open the app. You start off sensible. You think, I am a rational adult. “We’ll just get one main course,” I say. “We’ll share a rice. We’ll be frugal.”
But then the hunger takes the wheel. The hunger is aggressive.
I look at the screen and I think… What if one Naan bread isn’t enough? What if there is a Naan shortage? So I add a “Safety Naan.”
Then I think… Well, I can’t have a Safety Naan without a poppadom. That’s against the law. Then I add onion bhajis. Not because I want them, but because you have to.
By the time the doorbell rings, the delivery driver isn’t holding a bag. He’s holding a sack. It weighs the same as a damp Golden Retriever.
He hands it over. There are fourteen brown paper bags. I have to shout back into the silent house, “Lads! The food’s here!” just to pretend I’m hosting a stag do, and not just feeding two small children and a mum who only wanted a starter.
I looked at the receipt and realised I could have bought a second-hand Ford Fiesta for less.
That was the turning point. I put a poppadom down, and said, “No more. From now on, we cook.”
The “Golden Cheat” (The Base Gravy)
For years, my homemade curries were… fine. But they never tasted like the restaurant ones. They lacked that smooth, rich depth.
Then I discovered the Golden Cheat.
In restaurants, they don’t cook every curry from scratch. They have a giant pot of “Base Gravy” (onions, garlic, ginger, and spices boiled and blitzed until smooth). When you order a Tikka Masala, they take a ladle of this magic gold, add cream and tomato, and boom—restaurant quality in 10 minutes.
This recipe replicates that method. It involves an extra step (blitzing the sauce), but it is the single greatest trick I have learned.
💡 Tired Dad Tips
- The Yogurt Marinade: Don’t skip this. The enzymes in the yogurt break down the chicken fibres, making it incredibly tender. This is why restaurant chicken melts in your mouth.
- The “Char”: Grill the chicken pieces separately before adding them to the sauce. You want those little black charred edges—that’s where the smoky flavour lives.
- The Blender: Use a stick blender to blitz the onion base. If you have kids who “hate onions,” this is the ultimate disguise. The onions disappear into a silky sauce.
Restaurant Style Tikka Masala
Ingredients
The Chicken (The Marinade)
- 4 Chicken Breasts cut into chunks.
- 4 tbsp Plain Yoghurt.
- 2 tbsp Tikka Masala Paste Patak’s or similar.
- Method: Mix it all in a bowl. Leave it in the fridge for as long as you have 30 mins is fine, overnight is legendary.
The "Golden" Base Sauce
- 2 Onions roughly chopped.
- 1 tbsp Garlic Paste or 3 cloves.
- 1 tbsp Ginger Paste.
- 2 tbsp Tikka Masala Paste.
- 400 g Passata Sieved tomatoes.
- Water.
The Finish (The Masala)
- Double Cream approx 100ml.
- Ground Almonds 2 tbsp.
- Fresh Coriander.
- Sugar 1 tsp, to balance the acidity.
Instructions
- The Base: Fry the onions, garlic, and ginger in oil until soft (don't brown them too much). Add the curry paste and cook for 1 minute.
- The Simmer: Add the passata and a splash of water. Simmer for 15 minutes until the onions are completely soft.
- The Blitz (The Cheat): Take the pan off the heat. Use a hand blender to blitz the sauce until it is completely smooth. It should be an orangey-red colour. This is your Base Gravy.
- The Grill: While the sauce simmers, put your marinated chicken pieces on a foil-lined tray. Grill on high for 10-12 minutes. You want them cooked through with charred black spots.
- The Combine: Tip the grilled chicken (and any juices) into your smooth sauce.
- The Magic: Stir in the Ground Almonds and Double Cream. Simmer gently for 5 minutes. The sauce will turn that famous "Tikka Masala Pink."
- The Seasoning: Taste it. Add the sugar if it needs sweetness, and salt if needed. Stir in fresh coriander.
🍚 The Sides (Don’t Forget The Carb Load)
1. 10-Minute Pilau Rice:
- Ingredients: Basmati Rice, 1 tsp Turmeric, 2 Cardamom Pods.
- Method: Rinse the rice until the water runs clear (crucial!). Put in a pan with the turmeric, cardamom, and salt. Cover with cold water (1 knuckle deep above the rice). Bring to a boil, put a lid on, turn heat to lowest, and leave for 10 mins. Do not peek!
2. The “Cheat’s” Naan (No Yeast!):
- Ingredients: 1 cup Self-Raising Flour, 1 cup Greek Yogurt.
- Method: Mix the flour and yogurt in a bowl. It will form a dough. Knead it for 2 minutes on a floured surface. Roll into flat naan shapes. Dry fry in a hot pan for 2 minutes each side until puffy and charred. Brush with melted butter. (Yes, it’s really that easy).
Did you feed the neighbours? Or did you keep it all for yourself? Let me know in the comments or tag me on Instagram @tireddadcooksuk or on X @tireddadcooks.